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26th-May-2011 06:18 pm(no subject)
I'm getting really fed up with the scales in my house, we have 3 pairs and I'm fairly sure all 3 are broken!! I can get on weigh one thing get off and weigh again straight away and be completely different :( I just want to know!

On a positive though I've started using the wii fit again and I LOVE IT, I wanted to go out for a run today but the weather has been so terrible I needed something else which is when I thought of that.

Burned 103 off on that earlier (wanted to do longer but my mum came home) and haven't eaten all day so hopefully should have dropped by tomorrow :D Fingers crossed.
17th-May-2011 06:00 pm(no subject)

I weighed myself today and I've lost weight only around 2/3 lbs but it's something right? :) 

On the down side however because I haven't eaten anything today I have absolutely fuck all energy and although I have an exam tomorrow cannot face doing any kind of revision /: I'm also freezing cold and cannot seem to warm up. Finally I'm jealous of my boyfriend, he's finished all his exams now so has finished uni for the summer this means that he's been working at the garage doing building work. He just keeps going on about how much of a good workout it is and how he's going to be so buff etc and I'm stuck in school or doing revision so although I need and want to work out I can't :( He's gone for a bike ride with a friend tonight whilst I'm stuck looking at maths papers unable to find the motivation to do any of them.

I wish my exams and everything were over too but by the time I finish I have 4 days before I go away with him. When the fuck am I supposed to tone up etc I cannot fuck up this year at school :(

14th-May-2011 01:41 pm(no subject)

It's 1.30 and so far I've eaten nothing today, I'm hoping that my mum won't mention food so that I don't have to have anything at all today (am out tonight so tell her I'm getting something out). Have worked it out though if she does make me eat something I will just have soup (55 cals).

Yesterday I did good, all I had all day was a low cal hot chocolate and 10 cherry tomatoes so 53 calories overall :) I neeeed to get down to at least 116 asap I feel disgusting. But my scales aren't working properly so not sure if they're right or not :/

UGW: 99. So only like 28lbs to lose.

11th-May-2011 10:24 pm(no subject)

Typical my exams start next week, I need to do well to get into uni and my brain decides to fuck everything up again. That's why I'm back.

Like always I told myself I could control it this time, it wouldn't get as bad as last time I'd do it on my own and I'd fight it because I needed to, I mean I wasn't strong enough to go through it all again. And, like always, it did get bad and I couldn't do it on my own I was right about one thing though I'm not strong enough I'm not strong enough for any of this right now, not for my exams, for moving away or for lying to everyone I care about to cover up the fact that inside I'm dying.

Why is life never easy? Why, however hard I try, cannot I not get rid of this? And why is the sky blue?

^At the moment the last one seems the easiest to figure out. Ironic huh? 

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